


You are the only one

by daydreamwithyou



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Garvez, angst w/o happy ending, post breakup fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24058531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamwithyou/pseuds/daydreamwithyou
Summary: It's been almost a year since Luke and Penelope decided to part ways, she seems to be doing just fine, unlike him, who is still dealing with unresolved feelings for her. One drinks too many, he ends up showing up at her apartment.
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Penelope Garcia
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There's a chance this could have a second part, but it all depends if my mind comes up with something else.  
> Inspired by 'One' by Ed Sheeran and If the World Was Ending by JP Saxe ft. Julia Michaels.

Luke ran his fingers through his hair, usually he wouldn’t be out drinking alone at a bar on a Thursday night but the mixed emotions going through his mind had led him here. Earlier the team had come back from Kansas where they had been on a case for a few days, during their trip on the jet, Luke had overheard JJ and Emily talking about Penelope’s relationship, apparently things were looking great.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they decided to move in together” JJ whispered but Luke had heard it.

“Really? I’m impressed, good for them, honestly I wouldn’t have thought about it, Penelope seems a little secretive about Jonathan” Emily stated, he had a guess as to why Penelope wasn’t sharing that much with them.

“Well, you know, she doesn’t want to bring it up in front of Luke” He was sure both women assumed he was asleep, and he had been until a few minutes ago, he decided to go back to sleep before he heard more stuff that would rub more salt to the wound. 

After arriving to the BAU and getting his paperwork done he quickly said goodbye and drove to the closest bar, by the third beer he knew he was not driving home and he continued to drink in silence.

It had been a year since the things between him and Penelope ended but it still pained him, he had tried to move on but the truth was he didn’t want to, so when he found out Penelope was seeing someone his heart broke even more.

He knew she had every right to move on, but he still had some hope left, they could work things out, Luke knew he didn’t see himself with other woman that wasn’t Penelope. He almost called Matt, usually he would go to him whenever he needed to talk about this situation, he was truly his best friend and always the shoulder he cried on, but by now, Luke felt uncertain to go to him to tell him the same things he’s been telling Matt since Penelope and him had broken up, and Matt always assured him that any time he wanted to talk he would be there to listen or give advice if he needed it.

But now he was afraid of taking his phone out because he just knew that instead of calling his best friend, his drunken brain would dial her number instead. And he didn’t want to bother her, it wouldn’t be fair to burden her with all of his false hopes and unresolved feelings, especially now that she was happy and getting serious in her relationship.

He continued to drink a bit more, he wasn’t usually the type to drown his sorrows with alcohol but the thought of Penelope settling down with someone else was the last straw, ever since their break up, nothing was ever the same between them, at first they only spoke when it was work related, when more time passed they tried to be friends but they never went back there, they could have conversations about that new place he thought she would like, or how Roxy was doing, he would ask about Sergio, but there was always some awkwardness floating around them whenever they were alone.

Even after everything one thing was certain: they wished each other the best. And as much as it hurt him to see her being with someone else, if it meant she was happy, he would learn to live with it, he was really trying to, but it was hard to see the person, you swore, was the love of your life with someone else.

He decided it was time to go when he realized it was pouring outside, so he paid the bartender and left, he knew he had to Uber home, he’d deal with his car in the morning, before he knew it he was on his way home.

Or so he thought.

The car stopped and he thanked the driver and got out, only to be met by Penelope’s building in front of him, he was confused but once he checked the address he typed on the app, he saw it was hers.

The loud thunder snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked for some shelter from the heavy rain, once he did, he stood there debating whether or not was a good idea to go up, it was almost midnight, maybe he was there with her or maybe she was at his place.

He pressed his lips together wondering what he should do but before he had the chance to think it through, his feet were already walking towards the door of the building, lucky for him one of Penelope’s neighbor recognized him and let him in when they were getting in.

As he found himself outside her door, he still wasn’t sure what he was going to say or if he should even be there but his feelings got the best of him so he knocked one, two, three, four times.

It was almost midnight but Penelope couldn’t sleep, the storm happening outside was to blame, she had never a fan of lightning and thunder, so now she was drinking a cup of tea while Sergio rested on her lap, petting him made her feel less anxious.

She continued doing that until she felt her eyes getting heavier, and just when she was about to fall asleep, the knocking on her door made her eyes shot open, she sat up straight a little startled, Sergio jumped off at the sudden notion.

When she looked through the peephole, she thought she was hallucinating when he saw him standing there, Penelope slowly opened the door, as if he was going to disappear if she was not careful.

Luke had his eyes fixated on the floor but the moment he heard the door open, he lifted his gaze to be met with the most beautiful woman in his eyes.

“Penelope” His voice was almost inaudible.

She was both surprised and confused to see him there “Uhm, what are you doing here?” She wrapped her arms around her and stood there avoiding his gaze.

“Are you ok?” That’s when Penelope’s gaze met his.

“Me? I’m fine” She paused “Are _you_ ok?” She tried to decipher what was going on in his mind.

“You really don’t like storms” He slurred and Penelope realized then he was drunk.

“Did you drive here?” She was ready to give him a piece of her mind.

His eyes shot open “What!? No” He looked at her as if she was saying nonsense.

Penelope moved to the side so he could enter the apartment “Come on, you’re gonna catch a cold, let me make you some coffee”

He smiled “Thanks Pen” His mind didn’t come up with something else to say so he followed her inside.

She went to the kitchen and he sat on the sofa, he tried to see if the place was any different, to see if there were any signs she was moving out, he knew something was missing but couldn’t quite figure out what was it.

Soon Penelope returned with a coffee mug for him, they sat in silence for a few minutes, neither of them able to come up with small talk.

Suddenly Luke started talking what was on his mind “I had to come, it was raining, you can’t sleep when it’s raining with lightning and thunder, I wanted to make sure you were fine” Penelope shuffled awkwardly in her place, she was aware this conversation would turn uncomfortable.

“I- uh, I appreciate the concern but you didn’t have to come here just because it was raining” Since Sergio wasn’t there, she took the pillow next to her and hugged it, in an attempt to protect herself. 

He shook his head and started to ramble “No, you’re wrong, I did, I mean, I can’t let you be here alone and scared”

“Luke-” Penelope tried to cut him off but Luke was set on speaking his mind.

“It’s my job to make sure you’re ok” He reassured her with a furrowed brow.

“It really is not, I can take care of myself, thank you very much” She pinched the bridge of her nose “But I don’t know why I’m telling you this when you’re drunk, you are a stubborn drunk, Alvez”

He let out a harsh breath “I’m not, I-I’m not”

“Drunk or...?” She inquired. 

“Stubborn, drunk I am” She let out a sad laugh, she missed drunk Luke, and sober Luke as well..

“I guess I should offer you to crash for the night” She got to her feet seeing the opportunity to end the conversation “You can sleep on the couch”

“I don’t want to sleep” He rubbed his chin.

“Well, either that or you go home, newbie” The familiar nickname rolled off her lips for the first time in more than a year and he swore his heart skipped a beat.

“I want to talk” Those were the words she dreaded to hear.

“No, you’re drunk, you need to sleep, let me go get you some blankets and some more comfortable clothes” 

“I won’t wear his clothes” He stated with a firm voice.

She sighed and ignored him while she searched for the blankets, when she returned he was pacing back and forth.

“Pen, I’m not wearing your boyfriend’s clothes” His voice had softened.

“They’re yours, I found them in some drawer the other day” He stopped and turned to her, again unable to stop himself before he started to pour out all the words he had been wanting to ask.

“What happened, Penelope? Please tell me” He took a step towards her and she took a step back, Luke stopped and felt his heart break a little bit more for the second time in the day, she didn’t want to be close to him.

“Luke, please, don’t do this” She rubbed both hands on her forehead. 

“What didn’t I do? What do I need to make things right?” His voice broke.

“Let’s go to sleep, please” Penelope pleaded as she held back the tears. 

“Penelope, I need you to know that if you ever feel like you could give us a second chance I’d say yes and I know that most likely won’t happen but I needed you to know” Luke knew it wasn’t fair to do this to her, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Penelope on her part wasn’t as shocked as he thought he would be, a million thoughts were going through her mind, but she remained silent so he continued to talk.

“I know you’re happy and that I’m an idiot for doing this but I can’t take it anymore, I wish I was over you by now but I’m not, the thought of you being happy with someone else pulls me back together and breaks me up again, I wouldn’t want you to be sad and there’s a part of me that is glad there is someone else making you happy because I can’t but you have no idea how much I wish it was me making you happy” He also wished Penelope would tell him that she was waiting for him to show up and confess all of this so she could come to terms with the fact that she still loved him but she didn’t.

He didn’t know how long he stood there looking at her, waiting for something, anything to come out of her mouth, even if it was just her telling him to fuck off, he couldn’t stand the silence.

“I-I better go, I’ll type the right address this time” As he was about to leave the apartment he turned around “One last thing, I know I’ll have a moral hangover tomorrow and I’ll act weird and probably will avoid you but please, don’t stop being my… Friend, not being with you it’s incredibly hard but not having you as a part of my life at all would be the death of me, please, don’t let me drift apart just because I’m a fucking moron, Pen”

“Can you let me know you got home safely?” That was all Penelope could say to him.

“I will, sorry I showed up like this” And with that he left.

Almost forty minutes later, she got a text, it was picture of Roxy lying on her bed with her stuffed duck that Penelope had bought for her almost two years ago.

> “Maybe this can help you sleep” 
> 
> “I made it home safely, I’m sorry for everything”

That’s when she let the tears finally come out and so she cried herself to sleep, on the other side of town, Luke also let the tears out, thinking he would regret letting Penelope go the rest of his life. 


	2. Hold you like I used to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke has been dealing with his broken heart for months, he's glad the weekend had arrived and he doesn't need to go to work, he needs some time apart from Penelope, that is until an inebriated Penelope shows up at his place to spill what's been on her mind (and heart).

Luke sat on his couch, petting Roxy who was laying beside him and resting her head in his leg, he was waiting for his dinner to arrive, it had been a long week and he was looking forward to the weekend, hoping he wasn’t called to go to work.

He sighed thinking he needed a break from the BAU, he wasn’t thinking about leaving or anything but he was still trying to figure out how to deal with his feelings for Penelope, it had been a few months since he had showed up to her place, afterwards he expected her to be angry at him. But Penelope showed herself the same as before, she was civil, she would make small talk whenever they were together to avoid awkward silences but Luke missed the days were she would tease him, call him newbie, he missed their banter.

He heard his doorbell and went to get the door, when he opened it he did find his dinner but it was Penelope who was holding it.

“Penelope?” It was all Luke could say.

She tried to smile at him but failed “I bumped into the food delivery guy on my way here”

Luke wasn’t sure as to what was going on “Uhm, thanks, how much do I owe you?” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Nothing, it’s alright” She took a deep breath “Can I come in?”

“Of course, let me get that” He took the food from her hands “We can share, I ordered some Thai food” 

“Thanks I had dinner before coming here” Luke eyed her carefully, she look flustered.

“Are you ok?”

“‘M fine” She slurred.

“You’re drunk, Penelope” He glanced at his watch “At 7:30 PM” He commented with a smirk.

“It’s Friday, the girls and I went out but we needed to cut girl’s night short” She shrugged her shoulder as she kicked her heels off and walked to his couch to sit.

“Do you want some tea? Coffee? Water?” Luke offered as he started to take out his food containers.

“I said I’m fine, eat up, don’t worry about me” She laid back and started to pet Roxy who seemed to be really happy to see her.

Luke took two bottles of water from his fridge, his dinner and sat opposite to Penelope, just a few moments ago he was thinking about how he didn’t need to see her but now that she was here, he knew it was exactly what he needed, he tried to push back the thought about her being in a relationship with someone else.

Penelope looked at him and said nothing, he looked more comfortable than she might’ve thought, her being on his living room on Friday night like they used to when they were together, she knew the alcohol had given her the courage to go to him but she was wishing she was sober, thinking clearer as to what she was going to say. She held her chin in her hand as he ate and offered from his food every few minutes, she ended up accepting a few bites and Luke swore he had traveled back in time to when things were okay and they were together. 

Without realizing Penelope’s vision started to become blurry, she hated the fact that Luke wasn’t the one holding her anymore, she tried to fight back the tears so he wouldn’t know and question what was going through her mind, but her mouth wasn’t on the same page.

“Should we be friends?” She questioned out of the blue, Luke put the napkin down and the containers on the coffee table.

“Aren’t we friends already?” He knew what she meant but didn’t know how else to respond.

“Come on, we haven’t properly talked since… It rained” She tried to laugh but failed to do so, he knew what she was referring to “And even before that, we didn’t talk ever since we broke up”

He shifted in his seat, uncomfortable at her words, as if the bubble he had been for the past twenty minutes was just bursted and he was brought up to reality.

“Pen, what are you getting at?” He knew his tone wasn’t the most calm, but he had been dealing with his broken hearts for months now and these kind of situations didn’t help at all.

“We’re not together anymore” She stated, he spotted the tears in her eyes about to fall, as he was about to talk, she continued “You know that saying about what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? I’ve come to find this past few weeks that it’s not true”

“Penelope-” She shook her head and cut him off.

“Let me finish” She huffed, desperate to make sense but her mind wasn’t clear, all the alcohol and the emotions didn’t make it easy “I haven’t been able to sleep well these past few weeks, I want you there, I want you to hold me like before” Penelope swallowed “This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about coming here” She placed her hands in her cheeks, trying to regain some clarity “What is it about you? About us that has me like this?” She bit her lip and looked mortified “I think about you way more than I’m supposed to, I want things to go back to how they were before, when we were together”

Luke rubbed his hands in his sweatpants and avoided looking at her, knowing full well if he did he’d give in to her plea, but she wasn’t thinking straight, she was drunk and in a relationship.

He thought about what to say, but he couldn’t find other words that weren’t I am in love with you, let’s be together and forget everything else, he had the impression that things were going well with her current relationship, he didn’t want to interfere with that.

“I think... I should call you a cab, Penelope” Both of their hearts broke, his from saying those words and Penelope’s from listening his response.

Penelope’s face fell and her bottom lip quivered “I knew it” She anxiously pushed some hair strands out of her face “You don’t love me anymore”

She got up and tried to get out of there as quickly as she could but Luke was fast and took her arm, without turning her, he spoke to her “You are wrong, I still do, I never stopped but-” Penelope turned and looked angry at him.

“But what then?” She moved away from his touch.

“You’re in a relationship” 

“Oh” She bowed her head “I should have started with that” Luke’s eyebrows furrowed “We broke up, Jonathan and I, like a month and a half ago”

“What?” His voice came out almost like a whisper, he was in disbelief “I-I thought things were going well”

“They were, for him anyway” She confessed, looking away from him and feeling guilty for being so long in a relationship with Jonathan without being entirely happy “I realized I didn’t want to be with him”

There was hope in Luke’s eyes “Does this mean you wanna give this a try? Us?” He felt his heart beating faster awaiting for her answer.

“I was the one to end things, I thought it was fair to be the one to ask for another chance” This time his vision was the one to turn blurry, he felt as if the pieces to his heart were being put together.

“I would love to” He took a step towards her and raised her chain with his hand “We need to talk about this tomorrow, when you’re sober, to see if this is really what you want” Penelope gave him a sad smile.

“It is, I’m sure of it” She tried to move to get her heels but he stopped her.

“You can stay here if you want” Luke offered, Penelope looked up and nodded.

“Thank you” She stood there unsure of where to go or what to do.

Luke cleared his throat “You can stay in my bed and I’ll stay on couch”

Penelope was starting to feel very sleepy, she always crashed after drinking a little bit too much “Come on, Luke, don’t be silly, let’s go to bed” She offered her hand and he looked hesitant to take it.

“Are you sure?” He was afraid this was her drunkenness talking and that maybe tomorrow she’d wake up to tell him that she regretted everything.

Penelope let out a sigh “Yes, I am, please, I’m falling asleep already, let’s go and please hold me so I can get a proper night of sleep” She kept her hand out to him signaled him to take it.

He took it and immediately felt relief wash over him, Penelope guided them to his bedroom, she instantly took on her preferred side of bed and Luke laid on the other side “I’m not even that sleepy, it’s barely past 8:00” He dared to joke as Penelope snuggled to his chest.

“I don’t care, make sure I’m asleep then go back to whatever you were doing before I came here” She indicated with closed eyes, he smiled and looked at her with adoration.

For the first time in months he felt content, and there was no other place in the world he’d rather be than in his bed holding her on his arms, he kissed her head and lulled her to sleep by rubbing circles in her back.


End file.
